Dying

I have called in sick to work, as I spent all last night hurling the remaining contents of my stomach into the toilet. I have never loved my bathroom setup so much: the toilet is perfectly situated so that I might perch, doubled over, on the side of the bathtub, needing only to aim when the inevitable wave of nausea hits.

Sorry, too much information, I know. I'm a sharer.

I crawled out of bed to call in sick and then couldn't resist the siren call of hysteria, so I checked WebMD.

Clearly I'm dying.

Time to vote on what I'm dying of! Comment with YOUR suggestion, and if enough people vote for a deadly enough condition, maybe I'll consider seeing a doctor.

Appendicitis (suspected because only the right side of my abdomen hurts)
Giardisis (hello Moroccan tap water!)
Gastroenterisis (tap water OR food!)
Shigellosis (no fair, I've already had this)
Amebiasis (all of this is the same after a while)

I'm going with one of the travel-related diseases, i.e. anything but the appendicitis. I am, however, not at all keen to see a doctor, as last time I had a fairly undiagnosable travel illness I was stuffed full of antibiotics and antiparasitics that made me sicker that the original disease. The flagyl particularly: I was totally out for the count for the entire two-week course of that. Also, flagyl (a broadbase antiparasitic) is the only pill I've ever had trouble swallowing. I had to hide it in applesauce, which was, incidently, the only thing I could eat, as those drugs give you hella nausea.

Also incidently, that was the doctors visit that diagnosed me with celiac, totally fucking with my future ability to order in restaurants. So negative associations and all that.

I, alas, think I have to bow out of dinner tonight. As much as I would love to see all of my grad school friends, I don't think I can leave the house right now, let alone be in close proximity to food. Another day, I hope.