Beady Little Bloodshot Eyes

This is actually quite horrible, but the "putting it in context" section at the end of the article is pure brilliance:

In 2005 The Sun told how squirrels in Brixton, South London, became hooked on crack cocaine hidden by addicts in gardens. Residents said the tufties had bloodshot eyes and were “digging desperately” in flower-beds. In the US, crack squirrels are a recognised problem in New York and Washington DC parks.

(Emphasis mine.) Yes, that's right, by "crack squirrels" they mean squirrels that are addicted to crack. And they just threw that in there as a "The More You Know..." addendum. God, our tabloids are such crab compared to British tabloids. When was the last time you read about crack-addicted rodents in the Red Eye?